Monday, December 19, 2011

Give A Dog A Bone

Dear City Official,

I am composing this email on behalf of my darling dog, Sailor. He's a
two year old mix of something cute and something adorable, mixed with
one part chicken. My family and I were graced with his presence
approximately one week before Halloween, this past Autumn. He is a
giant, red, furry monster who cowers at the sight of a rotating
ceiling fan and our cat(who is one 20th of his size), but who loves
getting his tummy rubbed and sitting in your lap like he's a
Chihuahua. (I guarantee you, no part of him is Chihuahua!)

He loves going to the dog park, and you can truly see his canine
spirit as he races along with other dogs, chasing after tennis balls,
and diving into a pond or lake or puddle, or any form of water that's
dirty enough to cause me to, once again, clean out the back seat of
the car. He is fiercely loyal to our family, never straying from our
side, and always returning when we call his name. He loves liver
treats and will sit, shake, and do the laundry just to get one. He
sleeps in my daughter's bed every night and is so polite that he
actually shares the edge of the queen sized bed with her! What a
prince!

He is a well behaved gentleman when we have guests, never jumping on
them, licking their faces, chewing their shoes, or sneaking sips of
their beer. He does not bark or go doggy insane when the mailman comes
to the door, and he is never aggressive with anyone(Go ahead and take
their flat screen t.v., burglar, but can you leave me a liver treat on
your way out?).

In short, he is a glorious dog and should have a street named after
him. (I'm looking at you, Mayor!) And do you know who we have to thank
for him? A wonderful, unselfish, dedicated, passionate, and
responsible organization by the name of Chain of Hope.

This place is run by some of the most big-hearted people you could
ever hope to meet. They are consumed with the protection of helpless
animals, going out into the worst type of weather to feed and water
thin, neglected dogs. They run charity drives to raise money for hay
to fill dog houses, food to fill bellies, and blankets to fill beds.
They are super heroes in puffy coats and knit hats! They are the type
of humans I want my kids to become.

Recently they had a little snafu with Animal Control that seems to be
threatening all of the hard work they're doing. You can read about it
here : http://networkedblogs.com/rL18S.

I would very much like to see them receive a bit more support,
considering that they're on the same team as you. They want to do
nothing but provide help and love for an animal that may not have been
shown anything but cruelty in their lives. I know my dog was abused
and neglected prior to his rescue, and it has scarred him so terribly
that he can't fully relax in our(his) home. It's been months, and we
still have to encourage him to eat without fear. It's a sad thing to
see him cower away from a stuffed penguin. A stuffed penguin! What did
his horrendous previous owners do to him? I don't know, but if it
weren't for Chain of Hope, he wouldn't be with us, the people who love
him so much, we will never spend another day of his life away from
him.

If you can see fit, please look into this situation and realize they
are one of the good guys. Shut them down, and you're shutting down the
lives of homeless, cold, innocent animals, who just need a bit of
compassion and food, and the chance to find a family as ridiculously
over-the-moon about them as we are for Sailor. You wouldn't tell
Batman to hang up his utility belt, would you? WOULD you?

Thank you for any assistance you can provide!

Sincerely,
Gwen Farley and Sailor the Red Monster

p.s.- I've attached a photo for your enjoyment. If his unbearable
cuteness spurs you into action, then so be it.

Monday, June 20, 2011

I'd Be Purrfect For This!

So I'm always on the prowl for a job I can enjoy and be great at. I found this posting for a receptionist position on Craigslist stating that this was a "cats only" veterinarian and that the applicant should love cats. I do love cats so I decided to apply. I wanted my cover letter to really give a statement about who I was and why they should hire me. They haven't called me for an interview yet, but my fingers are still crossed!



To Whom It May Concern,
I am responding to your advertisement placed on Craigslist which states your opening for a receptionist at your office. I am sure that you've had an overwhelming response to your post, but I wanted to throw my horse into this race too. Generally I would send you an upbeat and generic email regarding my capabilities in running an office, staying organized, being a team leader, and providing excellent customer service. In that email I would mention that I am proficient in a multitude of computer programs that include Microsoft Word/ Works, Excel, and PowerPoint. I might also tell you that I am self motivated, which has allowed me to work for myself in the insurance field(it was boring and tedious, but I bet you guessed that when I said "insurance field"), intelligent(I haven't spelled anything wrong so far), and reliable(my family eats a meal I prepare myself every night). I suppose it would also behoove me to mention that I have plenty of experience handling a wide range of clientele at once, all while remaining calm, cool, and collected. Having worked in retail and the restaurant/ bar industry, I can guarantee that I know how to get more flies with honey, and can still convince those flies to flit away happily and recommend my company to other flies.
In that generic email, you would find a statement in which I would boast of my adaptability to new situations, my desire to succeed at everything I try(except for P90X, that was way too hard), and my overall professional demeanor and attire(I've always known it was a bad idea to wear your swimsuit and cowboy boots to work). Usually I would mention that my previous employers have valued my drive, punctuality, wit, and ingenuity. I like to think I make myself sound pretty darn good in those emails.
But here's the thing, I have five adorable cats, and I think they would agree that it's best that I keep it simple and tell you that I LOVE kitties. And that if I had a job which required me to work around them all day, handling them and assuring their pet parents received the best treatment possible, I would be insanely happy. Almost to the point where my face got tired from grinning like a fool(I'd be sure not to grin like a fool around the clients).
I've heard it said that if you do what you love, you never work a day in your life. I'm hear to tell you that I think that sounds fantastic. I figure that since I love cats and am used to running an office, this job might be the best opportunity I have to find that nirvana for myself!
If you're looking for someone who understands how to balance the humor in life with the stuff that's more serious, I'm right here. Stop looking. And please feel free to contact me at the number provided below. I would sincerely appreciate the chance to interview for this opening.
Sincerely,
Gwen Farley